Life Lessons: The “Diplomat”

I was thinking about the time in my life when I lived for a fake peace rather than a real truth.  You see, I lived in a family full of passive aggressive and volatile people with tons of unresolved shit.  Now, I won’t go into what the drama was (it was legion), but I got so sick and tired, that I would do anything for quiet.  If it meant suppressing my real feelings, then that’s what I did.

You know what I discovered?  I was the only person coming out the loser all the time, because other folks went on with their lives.  I did all the changing and accommodating, while the family members in question continued to be who they were.  You see how that mess works?  I was the one all broken down until I induced illness.  I spent more time in the ER in 1 month than my entire life up until that point.

I sit here thinking to myself: what the hell were you smoking?  Why did you allow yourself to be at such a disadvantage and for what?  A fake sense of “happiness”.  Really?  Sometimes you have to go through things boys and girls.  Life’s lessons are hard, but necessary.  I had to suffer through years of emotional dishonesty with myself, which is the saddest thing of all.

I finally left that world behind or so I thought, but there are times when I slide back into the familiar and have to check myself.  It’s gotten a hell of a lot better with time, but you must always stay vigilant when it comes to your mental and emotional health.

I’m gonna let Badu take it from here…

The Medusa Speaks

Painting: Arnold Bocklin, circa 1878

As I pondered a title for this site, I started to think about Medusa and what she has represented throughout the ages.  She was portrayed as a hideous, hateful creature to be feared and scorned.  Thinking further about the mythology surrounding her, I decided I didn’t like the characterization.  According to Medusa’s Wiki Page, “The Gorgon was made out of the terror, not the terror out of the Gorgon.”

She was born out of a need to guard against the unknown, a talisman, a “ritual mask” used to battle against “evil” forces.  I have long thought her misunderstood and purposely mischaracterized.  “She is in a word a mask with a body later appended…”  Medusa represents the horror of female anger to some feminists, a thing to be ridiculed and hated.  She is in fact a symbol of power and strength, otherwise why use her image as a form of protection?

As I read further, I decided to reclaim not just her visage, but her essence.  She is a representation not of physical strength, but that of the intellect and the soul.  Medusa is to be respected for her original purpose: a source of strength and courage to those operating in a world they did not understand and therefore feared.

…and so it begins